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Now you've decided to give the estate-agent a miss ( saving yourself
THOUSANDS of POUNDS ), it's time for you to learn the "expressive" language
that agent use to promote your property - beyond even your recognition
!
Please feel free to use any of these phrases, however, we at Homes On Sale,
accept no responsibility when people refuse to believe what you have got
to say.
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|
ESTATE AGENT
|
REAL
LIFE ( potentially ) |
| Close to Bus routes |
Bus-stop
right outside your door. |
| Compact & Bijou |
Too small for you and the cat. |
| Convenient for Railway
|
Rail line
runs at bottom of the garden. |
| Convenient for Schools
|
Lots of screaming
kids running around,
no chance of getting your car out in the morning. |
| Cottage |
Small with
outside toilet. |
| Deceptively spacious
|
Tardis for
sale. |
| Double-glazed throughout
|
Close to
motorway. |
| Easy to manage |
1 room -10'
square. |
| Exposed beams |
Ceiling
in need of repair. |
| Full of character |
Not decorated
since new. |
| Galley kitchen |
Entrance
hall and kitchen combined. |
| Ideal Project |
Only 4 walls
standing. |
| Individual décor |
Just evicted
squatters. |
| Interesting features
|
Designed
by a drunken lunatic. |
| Light and airy |
In need of
draught-proofing. |
| Mature
garden |
Completely
overgrown. |
| Manageable garden |
Small patch
of grass. |
| Neat garden |
Paved area
with potted plants. |
| Potential for expansion
|
V.small property. |
| Quiet cul-de-sac |
Nosy neighbours.
|
| Reasonable asking price
|
Trying for
extra commission. |
| Reduced for quick sale |
Got to get
this months targets. |
| Rural views |
Backs on
to cow shed. |
| Sea views |
Always windy
and wet. |
| Secluded |
More than
3 miles from the nearest McDonalds. |
| Suitable for conversion
|
Barn too
run-down even for the cows. |
| Suit DIY enthusiast |
Pile of rubble.
|
| Town house |
House in
posh terrace street. |
| Very spacious interior |
No internal
walls. |
| Wildlife garden see |
Mature
garden. |
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